DOMA is Done!

The federal government of the United States no longer officially defines marriage as being limited to a relationship between one man and one woman. Hallelujah!!! Now same-sex marriages will be federally recognized and given the same privileges as heterosexual married couples!

Of course, this raises the question of whether married couples should receive special privileges at all. I think not, especially if the couple is childless. The original point of financial benefits for married couples (when the privileges were initially put into place) was to ensure that the children that resulted from the marriage would be provided for. Probably most of the financial benefits of marriage should only apply to couples with children. In any case, that is a congressional debate for another day. For now, I am rejoicing that the injustices against same-sex couples who are married or wish to be married are no more!!!

There are many people, some of whom are in my own family, who will say, "Even if the government recognizes gay marriages, in God's eyes, marriage is still between a man and a woman." *sigh*
Tell that to the same-sex couples who have been married for 50 years in every way except on paper. God originally created Eve for Adam because "It is not good for the man to be alone". Companionship, intimacy, and love was His aim. All three can just as easily be shared between a same-sex couple as between a heterosexual couple.

C.S. Lewis writes that, "The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself...there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing..."

Throughout my entire young life, I have endeavored to seek Christ. I have followed Him and communed with Him. I abide in Him, and He abides in me. I seek good, I rejoice at truth, I am angered at injustice. Five years ago, I fell in love with a person named Roshi, who happens to have been born with a female body. How can this be? When I first realized I was in love, I went straight to the Lord, asking Him what it meant and what I should do. He told me I had to take a leap of faith. So I did. Against the will of my family, against the traditions in which I had been brought up, I jumped out into the unknown to be with the one whom my soul loves. I have never regretted that leap.

No, it has not been easy. I took the road less travelled by, the one where I didn't get the luxury of having my parents pay for me to have the typical "college experience". I worked through college, and I am the better for it. There were no drunken parties, no crazy nightlife, yet I feel like I didn't miss out on anything. Every other day I would drive an hour just to spend two hours sitting in the restaurant where my beloved worked, helping serve customers, completing homework assignments, and stealing kisses when we had the chance.  Somehow I look back and think how much we were in love, yet our love now is deeper still. How is that possible? How did I graduate from college completely DEBT FREE and buy a car (which is completely paid off now), and manage to make so many friends who love and support us? I know how. I took a leap of faith. I said to God, "I trust you. I will follow my heart and trust that you will take care of the rest."

Yes, there has been heartbreak. The family I grew up with, the people nearest to my heart, have rejected my beloved. They still love me and accept me, but they will not accept Roshi. This breaks my heart more than anything. I don't understand why their stubborn hearts refuse to at least try to see that Roshi is the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. The trouble is, I am afraid they will lose me altogether because as Roshi and I become one, it will become impossible for them to accept me without accepting her.

They will close their hearts to our love, and they will not want to meet their grandchildren.

To what end?

Does their refusal to accept Roshi make me love her less? Do they hope that eventually Roshi and I will break up of our own accord and that I will come back to them like a prodigal daughter? What does their scorn accomplish?

Absolutely nothing. Except pain, heartache, and regret.

The deepest desire of my heart is that my parents, and Roshi's parents, and our siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles, will want to celebrate WITH us when we exchange vows. Yet I am afraid that the only people who will be celebrating are those who have been with us since the beginning. The friends who have stood by our side and supported us these past five years. Yet friends can never replace the people who raised us from birth, the ones who taught us to speak and walk and seek God. There will be a hole in my heart if our families do not come to our wedding, or want to visit our children. I do not understand why they have to cause so much pain for us. All I did was fall in love.